Coping

So, I know in my last post I said that I would be writing a lot about sex in the following weeks, and then didn’t post anything for a month.

Unfortunately in the last few weeks I’ve been sick, had a bereavement, been made redundant, worried about loved ones, and the world in general has been even more frightening than usual. It hasn’t really seemed appropriate to sit down and write about orgasms or any of the other things that I’ve been meaning to talk about.

I’m sure you will understand and forgive me.

I’m doing okay though. Which is interesting. To me anyway.

This time last year was also personally awful. As was this time the year before that. And the one before that. And the end of 2011 was when I was just starting to become unignorably ill again.

And at no point previously have I handled it well. At all.

The last few Decembers have been characterised by pain, and panic, and paranoia; and every tiny little thing that has gone wrong in the course of my day has come almost as close to driving me over the edge as the crazy big deal life stuff.

But this year I’m okay.

None of the things that have happened lately feel like a physical assault on my brain. I no longer feel as though I’m constantly fighting not to fall down the cliff as one event calamatous event after another batters me.

I have felt what seems like an appropriate level of negative emotions towards everything that has been going on. But it hasn’t felt like those emotions were likely to kill me.

It no longer seems as though my entire being is made up of exposed raw nerves.

I’m coping.

Which I suppose at least confirms that this remission thing is real this time.