Art, Action & Inspiration

The English Man Who Went Up A Hill And Came Down A Mountain

(Except, there were two of us, and we’re both women)

“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” ~ Steve Wright

It’ll be good for us to get out for a quick walk, she said. We’ll just have a wander round the reservoir, she said. It’ll only be four miles, she said.

We ended up here.

Hallam Moor

Well, do you see a reservoir?

The ‘walk’ started off sedately enough. We parked up and went for a stroll along a nice, well-trodden, bridle-path, stopping every three minutes to take pictures of the pretty scenery.

One Logs

TwoThreeFour Mushrooms

No, it's just you. You have a dirty mind.
No, it’s just you. You have a dirty mind.


This occupied us for about an hour or so, but, then we reached the point where the bridleway joined back on to the road. So we needed to choose a new path.

So we, reasonably enough, followed a sign saying ‘Public Footpath’.

Which in hindsight may have been an error.

And the first sign that this may have been the case came just five metres in, when, just after we’d confronted The Limbo Tree, we found ourselves edging along a rock face to avoid falling into the stream… I mean, violently surging river.

The Limbo Tree
The Limbo Tree

Proper public footpaths do, as a general rule, tend to have actual paths.

Then we had to climb quite a bit. Up a rocky trail, following in the footprints of some dog who appeared have been that way before.

Its Just Up HereAnd, somehow, instead of coming to the reservoir, we ended up on the moor.

Moor OneMoor TwoMoor ThreeMoor FourMoor Five

A moor with a big fence across the middle. And instructions.


But we weren’t lost, because there was a sign…

Look, we're not lost, there's a sign!
Look, we’re not lost, there’s a sign!

We followed the arrow pointing upwards, since it was the only one that pointed in the direction of a passable way.

We thought if we carried on the short way up to the top of the hill we’d be able to see where we were and find our way.

Only, as we carried on, so did the hill. It kept growing.

Every time we though we were just getting to the top of it, another top appeared higher up and further away. It was though someone was watching us, and every time we were almost at the top of the peak, they dropped another bit in and laughed at us.

And then we lost the path entirely.

An Then We Lost The FootpathNo Path

And yet, somehow, we weren’t particularly worried.

We eventually found another, proper, path, that looked as though it might lead us back to civilisation.

Back To Civilisation

That ran along beside a snowy river.


We also found a thing.


And a touching, memorial bench.

"For Minnie Smith and her son Donald, who so enjoyed this view."
“For Minnie Smith and her son Donald, who so enjoyed this view.”

And the Smiths didn’t have half bad taste in views.

The ViewView TwoView ThreeBut we really knew we were getting closer to where we wanted to be when we came across some horses.

3sdK954uH6Gb1D-EnJMMQa17nUVZpGeA3ZYmWjQzNJ4oDakV-PVGEo-6DAzxx4ad9gxj6uliM2z0hf-9qF6ryo0Uq29g6yjCkfJVXHrNvVLXpkY03RhCVsg_hBU1RlDlwAnd a farm-house.

Farm HouseAnd some sheep.

izdqtP2C1Wm9xQbt40TzRzFbzWVLIVOouSnGXW2civsniyFxEUU1lV5bzm0PSplEbF-oemm3Z0LWCmK1c0m5HUAnd we did eventually find the reservoir.

We Finally Found The Reservoirs8lcHX48oxYp-H5LgLEhYCFoN2zYpSzhpDLd6X959Kk4wWMiT2dyAOpdJmEyOVVnHi4gAnfAd1jvCBv1uyPuDw0fDi2gNLUAHfGjJuSVXCsOqi1WcpG--SfKXF_i5gG2g

And the road back to the car.

These guys were beside it.

"What are you doing?"
“What are you doing?”
"Huh, not feeding me."
“Huh, not feeding me.”
"Well, in that case, I'm not interested. I'll be getting back to my grass then."
“Well, in that case, I’m not interested. I’ll be getting back to my grass then.”

And set off home about five hours later than we’d originally planned.

Stopping on the way for a nice cup of tea. And a fantastic country pub lunch of pork, mashed potato, and vegetables, inside a huge Yorkshire pudding, and covered in gravy. Followed by a banana split.

None of which I remembered to take pictures of, but then again, this post is probably quite long enough already.

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9 thoughts on “The English Man Who Went Up A Hill And Came Down A Mountain”

    1. It’s the Peak District, so it covers Yorkshire, Derbyshire, and Lancashire. I think we ended up in the Yorkshire bit. Or, that’s what we kept telling ourselves, anyway – “We’re not lost, we’re in Yorkshire!”


  1. I’m incredibly jealous that you still have snow. What’d I’d give for it to be below 32 degrees Fahrenheit every day of the year…


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