Mental health / Mental Health & Wellbeing

In Therapy

“You’re scrutinized all through your life – you’re scrutinized by your family, by yourself, by society, and your friends in a certain way, shape, or form.” ~ Colin Farrell

I’ve been having trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapy since July last year. I go every Tuesday afternoon. The aim of it is to look at the way you are thinking about the world and how this might be causing unnecessary anxiety. You are then supposed to address these problems by replacing them with a more helpful way of thinking.

I would like to be able to write a nice, helpful post about the ins and outs, and pros and cons of it, but in the seven months I’ve been going to sessions cognitive behavioral therapy hasn’t made one single bit of difference to my mental health.

In fact, in the last couple of months, if I hadn’t already decided that the therapist lady couldn’t help me, she’d probably have done more harm than good.

You see, she works on the premise that worry is bad and that people shouldn’t do it. Which as a general idea isn’t all that terrible. The problem is that she literally doesn’t think that anybody should worry about anything, at all, ever. She keeps telling me to stop trying to sort out my problems because I’m not very well and there’s nothing I can do about them. Even when I try to talk about problems surrounding my employment and my need to be able to keep a roof over mine and NP’s heads and food in our bowls.

I actually asked her if she thought that people should worry if they were under the threat of homelessness and she said no.

Even when I explained to her that having failed to do anything to prevent your own homelessness would be sufficient grounds for you to be refused any potentially available help to find anywhere else to live, she still asserted that people shouldn’t worry about it.

I’m not really sure why I’m still doing it. I think I just want to feel like I’m trying something. And during the brief period when I was actually working it was an excuse to escape from the office for a bit. I can’t ask for another therapist because I know there isn’t one.

I was supposed to be having intensive psychotherapy through the women’s therapy centre eventually but I was referred last May and I’m still waiting. And since I’m meant to be emigrating next Friday I guess it’s never going to happen.

So, anyway, CBT – I’m hoping that mine has been isolated bad experience, but I’m afraid I can’t recommend it.




5 thoughts on “In Therapy

  1. I had one therapist, who was just god awful. Nothing good came out of it, except for me realizing that my phobias came from my “event”, that it made my fears worse. Duh, I could have told you that. Well just that they got worse. But hopefully you find a good therapist.


      • I’ll always complain, but it’s because I don’t want to admit half the time what is wrong. Or I don’t feel like it’s what is wrong. I’m fighting it, but then it’s making me deal with the past and I don’t want to, I just want to move on.


  2. Maybe moving away will help with your mental health. Is there a possibility for you to see a therapist in China?
    And even though I am not a believer in not worrying (How could a therapist think like this? Or how can a person thinking like this become a therapist?), but I strongly believe everything will turn out right for you.



    • I haven’t been able to find a way to get one so far, I’m going to look into it more when I get there and hope that it’ll be easier to find something. I get the impression though that, while they have some pretty great facilities if there’s something physically wrong with you, they’re a bit behind the curve when it comes to mental health provision.

      I think my therapist might have more issues than I do. I remember she once also told me that it’s normal to feel like you want to kill yourself all the time, and that most people do.

      And thank you, I’m hoping this move is just what I need to shake me out of the rut my recovery seems to have stalled in.


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