Today was the first day of my phased return to work that I had to work full time hours. Not that any more work got done than when I was on part time hours, what with a fire drill that was swiftly followed by seven of us being stuck in the half metre square lift for a good part of the afternoon.
I was quite surprised that I was the only one who wasn’t at all freaked out at being stuck in the sardine tin. I would have expected that if there was fretting to be done I’d be the first one to panic. Now I come to think of it though I’m also the only one taking enough mood stabilisers to chill out an angry elephant.
One lady, who is heavily pregnant seemed genuinely scared that we’d never make it out again. I had to remind her that if they could rescue the Chilean miners from their collapsed mine there was no way we weren’t being rescued from a poxy lift. As we were, eventually.
The other notable thing that cropped up today was that a vacancy has arisen in another department that would be my dream next job.
This position only comes up once in a blue moon, and it’s the only position I’m going to be able to go for in the foreseeable future due to the hundred and sixty-seven sick days I’ve taken over the last two years. For internal vacancies my company don’t run background checks on current employees other than to make sure you haven’t been the subject of disciplinary or capability proceedings, which I haven’t…yet.
I’m fairly confident that if I applied I could get it. My only worry is, I’m just five minutes into being back working after five months of sick. I’m not one hundred percent recovered yet – I ran away from a friend’s birthday on Saturday after being overcome with paranoia and anxiety. And it would mean moving to London, away from my therapists.
Part of me thinks that I know I’m not ready so I should just leave it. But then there’s another part of me that knows that I’ll kick myself in a few months time when I’m feeling more stable and frustrated at still being in my current role.
I have until Thursday to think about it and decide.