During my most recent bout of depression one person in particular has been convinced that if I only looked at the world in the same way he did then everything would be fine. Everyone has bad days he said, bad stuff happens to everybody, you just have to focus on the positives.
This post is for all the ‘Steve’s’ of the world.
You feel depressed because something’s happened to make you blue. Your football team lost, the girl you like’s not interested in you, or you didn’t get that promotion.
In all those cases a change in circumstances could cheer you up again, and a different course of events would’ve meant that you were never even unhappy in the first place.
If I am having a depressive episode you could tell me that there was hundred million dollars just waiting on my doorstep for me to go and collect it, or you could tell me that every single person I cared about had been caught up in a massive explosion and that they were all dead. It wouldn’t make one iota of difference to the way I’m feeling right now.
You’re angry that someone insults you, you were hurt when a loved one criticised you, you were saddened when you heard bad news. But you put it to one side and thought of other things. Mustn’t dwell, positive thinking is what you need.
I’ve just experienced one of my triggers and it’s set off a cassette reel inside my head. All of the worst insults that could be thought of, the deepest insecurities that could be played on, all the of the things that no other person would ever dare to say to me are playing on a loop in my brain. And I can’t change the record, and I can’t find where to press stop.
You’re depressed, but hey, shit happens and life goes on, no need to make a fuss.
I have depression; and it’s a fucking big deal.
<iframe src=”//embed.gettyimages.com/embed/481475785?et=6jmRPtvkyE-bSpWjM_qz5Q&sig=E7QdrgpDdyeDHQcXcjzYsmhwKgfNky2h1FQ9GKIx0G8=” width=”610″ height=”513″ frameborder=”0″ scrolling=”no”>
Depression – why it was never about sadness. (halfwaybetweenthegutter.wordpress.com)